you leave sunspots on my vision
by cyclothimic
Summary: Sure, Lena kissed her back that night, but Lena was also trying to get her back to her senses from the Red Kryptonite. She could be doing it out of obligation, and not because she actually wanted it. She could have been imagining things and giving herself false hope. or Kara asks Lena out for coffee [watch the devil's fury grow part two]


_And then there's us, and we are something else altogether. Some kind of burning. But you have never been all-consuming. You have never been almighty. You are a pair of hands I never want to let go of, and maybe that's its own religion._

 _-Ashe Vernon, Sacrilege Redux_

* * *

If anyone asked Kara Danvers, she would tell them she wasn't avoiding Lena Luthor, because she wasn't. She was just very busy and very tired. She was working two jobs, leave her alone. And while Lena certainly deserved a full length apology, Kara was just entirely too busy to produce articles and save the citizens of National City to even squeeze the time out to pay the woman a visit, even though she really deserved more than just a visit.

However, if there was a narrator in Kara Danvers' life, every time she insisted that she wasn't avoiding Lena Luthor, the narrator would tell her non-existent audience that she _was_ , in fact, avoiding Lena Luthor. She was actively avoiding Lena by taking on extra jobs at CatCo, and performing rescues that she could have left to the NCPD.

She had very good reasons to avoid Lena Luthor. And she wasn't even sure if the woman wanted to see her after everything that had happened. Granted, she didn't wreak havoc and cause rampage over the city like last time, but it still felt as awful, considering what she had done and what she still wanted to do – with Lena.

"When are you going to talk to Lena?" Alex asked, shoving a pot sticker into her mouth before Kara could stop her.

They were having a sister night – something that they hadn't been able to have for quite some time. It was two weeks after the whole debacle with the Red Kryptonite, and they finally found some time to lounge on Kara's couch, stuffing their faces with unhealthy food and watching trash TV. So it turned out Kara wasn't _that_ busy, sue her.

The blonde picked up a pillow and smacked it into her sister's face for stealing her pot sticker. And then she picked up the whole carton of pot stickers, making sure that it was out of Alex's reach. Also, she was pretending that she didn't hear Alex's question, which was impossible because she had _super hearing_ , for god's sake.

"Kara," Alex pronounced patiently. When Kara kept her eyes glues to the television, Alex huffed and picked up the remote to turn the television off. Kara clicked her tongue and shot a glare in Alex's direction. The brunette only raised her brows, gesturing at Kara to talk to her. "I know you heard me."

"When did you start calling her Lena?" Kara questioned.

Alex rolled her eyes, knowing Kara's avoidance tactic when she saw one, but she indulged anyway. "Since she saved your freaking life."

"She didn't save –" When Alex sent her an unimpressed look, the blonde huffed, leaning her head back against the couch. "Fine, she saved my life," she grumbled. "And I'm not avoiding Lena. I'm just busy."

"Two weeks ago, I would have believed that. But right now, you're just bullshitting me," Alex retorted. "Look, she deserves something from you, okay? It's been two weeks since the Red Kryptonite, and she hasn't told _anyone_ about you being Supergirl. I'm pretty sure if she has to keep that secret without talking to anyone for another day, she would literally explode."

"And how would you know?"

"She called me."

At that, Kara shot upright, facing Alex by sitting sideways on the couch. She threw her sister an incredulous look, failing to believe her. "And when did you guys become _best friends_?"

Alex raised her brows at her sister's sudden reaction. And then she smirked slightly – though why, Kara didn't know. "We're not best friends. I wouldn't even say we're friends. We're just acquaintances who share a common aspect in life, which is you. And she's worried about you. She's also a little bit pissed off, because you've been avoiding her."

"I haven't been –"

" _Kara_."

Kara groaned aloud and dropped her head on the back of the couch, burying her face in the material. "I just – I don't know how to talk to her, okay?" she finally admitted.

"Just go to her, and say you're sorry."

"It's not that easy." Because she remembered everything _clearly_ , and while she hated the experience, she also _loved_ the experience. Or, to be specific, she loved a certain part of the experience.

There was a moment of silence, where Kara had her eyes closed and Alex was probably sensing something _else_ was afoot, because she gasped. "Oh, Kara," Alex said softly.

The blonde opened her eyes and turned her head to look at her sister. "What?" she asked, her voice a little louder and her brows furrowed in an exaggerated manner.

Alex stared at her for a long while before she moved on the couch so she could be nearer to Kara. And then she put her hand on top of the blonde's, her lips curled into a gentle smile. "You should go see her." Kara's frown deepened; she didn't even know that was possible. "And you should probably ask her out for coffee or something."

When Kara looked about to jump out of her seat and rebuke Alex, the brunette only tilted her head, giving her a knowing look. Of course, Kara knew it would only be so long before Alex figured it out. Kara sighed, closing her eyes again. "I need more time to figure things out," she whispered.

"I get that, but you can at least say something to her. After all, she hadn't done anything wrong, and you're making it seem like she's done something wrong," Alex probed.

* * *

She had never taken time to explore her sexuality. She never had any reason to. On Krypton, even though she was still a very young child when she left, she still understood that love knew no bounds and that there was nothing wrong with women loving women and men loving men. It just wasn't something that anyone on their planet would frown upon.

Which was why when she landed on Earth, she found homophobia very confusing.

But she did know that she definitely wasn't straight. Not when she had a slight crush on one of her girlfriends back in high school, not when she sometimes lingered on a pretty woman even though she was on a date with a man, and certainly not when her heart skipped by a few dozen beats when she first saw Lena Luthor.

It started out as a tiny crush, and then it eventually developed into a raging crush. Right now, as she stood in the elevator that was going to bring her to the floor where Lena's office was situated, she could finally confirm with herself that the crush had now become way beyond a crush. It could even be said that she had never felt something like this for literally _anyone_ before, not even James.

Every time she thought about Lena, she would smile with delight or groan with frustration. Every time Lena was in danger, the first thing she could think of was to just fly over and save her. Every time she got a chance to see Lena, she would get unreasonably excited and impatient until she got to actually _see_ Lena.

And everything just escalated since she kissed Lena. She wanted to do it again. She wanted to kiss Lena over and over again. She wanted to do more than kissing with Lena.

And if that wasn't saying something, she really didn't know what will.

When the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, she had half the mind to close the doors again and pretend she had something else to do, even though she had deliberately clear her schedule for this.

"Miss Danvers," Jess greeted her when she approached the desk.

"Please call me Kara," Kara reminded again. She jerked her head in the direction of Lena's office. "Is she busy?"

Jess scoffed. "She's always busy." And then she threw a look at Kara. "But I'm sure she can make time for you." Yeah, Jess definitely knew.

Kara blushed and smiled. "Well then, mind if I just go in?"

Jess shrugged. "You're the one with unrestricted access to her office." Kara laughed slightly before she made her way to the doors, but not before she heard Jess say, "And you're _still_ the only one."

The blonde stopped, gulped, took a deep breath, and turned the knob to open it.

Lena was sitting her desk. She had her phone to her ear and her chair was spun towards the windows, so she couldn't see Kara come in. Kara stood there, just staring the side profile of the woman she definitely had more than a crush on. Lena, no matter how, always managed to look so elegant and regal and ready to take over the room at any given chance. It was no wonder – Lena was a woman whom power came naturally to.

The alien closed the doors behind her as quietly as possible, so as not to distract Lena, and then made her way to the couch and sat down. She waited for Lena to finish her call, while also trying to compose herself so she wouldn't stumble when Lena eventually noticed her.

"I will let you know once I have my team evaluate the proposal. Goodbye, Mr. Henderson." Lena hung up and then spun her chair back to the front, only to jump when she saw Kara sitting on the couch. "Kara!"

Even though they were just two syllables, Kara could already feel all her composure flying out the window, leaving behind the shell of a woman wracked with nerves. "Hi?" Kara managed with a flimsy smile and an even flimsier wave.

Lena blinked, her jaw dropped for a second, before she closed her mouth again. Almost instantly, her surprise was gone, replaced by a cold composure, which admittedly kind of hurt Kara, but she definitely deserved it. "I almost thought I'd never see you again," Lena shot back, doing the thing with her brow that did things to Kara.

Kara looked away, clearing her throat. "Yeah, I –" She reached up to adjust her already perfectly positioned glasses. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken this long to come. It's unforgivable."

Lena didn't say anything after Kara's flustered and failed attempt to explain herself – not that she did any explaining. What she actually did was subject herself to Lena's scrutiny, and while she knew letting Lena look her over with a lack of disturbing factor that usually came in with the male gaze, she would let Lena do it if it meant lessening the woman's displease with her even by a fraction.

Truthfully, only three minutes – four at most – had passed, but it felt like an eternity, until Lena asked, "Are you okay?"

Kara's eyes widened at the woman in front of her. Really? After everything, after what Kara had done, after the prolonged period of deliberate avoidance, Lena was asking _her_ if she was okay. In this instance, Kara wanted nothing more than to leap forward and kiss Lena. However, she was certain it wouldn't be gratifying, given that there was a big elephant between them. Plus, she wasn't even sure if Lena felt the same way.

Sure, Lena kissed her back that night, but Lena was also trying to get her back to her senses from the Red Kryptonite. She could be doing it out of obligation, and not because she actually wanted it. It surely felt like Lena wanted to do _more_ than kissing, but this could also be a mistaken notion from the fact that she was too muddled up from the Red Kryptonite effects. She could have been imagining things and giving herself false hope.

Rao, was she glad that Alex came in time. Otherwise, she wasn't sure what would have happened. Kara was not a prude, per se, but she refused to be one of those people who disrespected consent during sex.

She reached up and adjusted her glasses. Not that she even needed them anymore, or the ponytail, but she still had to return to the outside world and she couldn't very well do so as Supergirl in civilian clothes. Also, the glasses and the ponytail offered some twisted sort of mental protection, as crazy as that sounded.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," she said and looked down at her loafers for a few seconds before looking back up again. She tilted her head. "Are you?"

Finally, Lena smiled. It wasn't wide and it wasn't as uninhibited as Kara was used to, but she would take it, because Lena actually looked all the more beautiful with that small smile on her face. Not surprising, really. "I'm not the one who was affected by the Red Kryptonite."

"No, no, you weren't." Kara cleared her throat and then shot a regretful look at the raven-haired woman. "But you were…we were…you know."

"We were…what?" the other woman probed.

Kara blinked. Lena's face was blank, save for the questioning gaze she was sending the blonde, who sighed and took a step nearer. "I am really sorry, Lena," she whispered. "I just…I know it wasn't entirely my fault, but I just…I never wanted you – or anyone, really, but _you_ , especially – to be –" She gestured aimlessly in the air in an attempt to find the right word "– a collateral victim from it."

The other woman crossed her arms over her chest. "Especially me, because I'm a Luthor and you don't want me to find out about your alter ego?" She didn't sound at all offended, only truthfully and accepted and resigned, which, if anything, made her assumption all the more worse to bear.

Like a bear, Kara leaped to deny it. "No!" She stood nearer and made to look Lena in the eye to show her utter earnestness in getting Lena to understand her honesty. "No, it's not that _at_ _all_. I've…wanted to tell you for a long time. It's just…Alex and J'onn – I mean Hank, his name is Hank – didn't quite trust you yet. And there's a lot of protocol about knowing my identity. And also the people who are close to me who know my identity always find themselves in danger and you're already in enough danger as it is and I really don't want to add more burden to your shoulders. But trust me, Lena, your last name is so far from the truth that it might as well be on Krypton, which doesn't even exist anymore."

Lena's smile returned. An odd sense of pride rose in Kara's chest at the knowledge that she was responsible for that smile. "Okay." And then she took a deep breath and tilted her head. "Why did it take you so long to come?"

Well, the other giant elephant stomped into the room when the first one had barely left. "I just…I wasn't sure how I can…I was scared."

Lena's brows rose. "Scared?"

Well, here goes. "The thing about Red Kryptonite is that it doesn't only lower a Kryptonian's inhibitions. And it also makes us completely unafraid of doing the things that we really want to do," she said slowly, observing Lena closely.

The raven-haired woman was highly intelligent. She had to figure this out without needing Kara to actually say it out loud. Lena narrowed her eyes when Kara stopped talking; trying to figure out what she was trying to say. When Lena's green eyes – those beautiful eyes – widened by a fraction and her mouth opened just slightly, Kara could see that Lena had already figured it out.

Kara swallowed. She took a deep breath, readying herself, and then bulldozed towards the deep end. "I was avoiding you, because I wasn't…I needed time to figure things out myself. And I wasn't sure if you, you know, feel the same way, and I didn't want to pressure you. To be honest, I was planning on avoiding you for a lot longer until I know I wouldn't turn into a useless bumbling idiot when I'm with you. But then Alex came and told me that you called her and you were angry and that I should probably ask you out for coffee, which I won't if you don't feel the same way, by the way," Kara added, a little crestfallen at even the notion of that. "But she was right when she said that you deserve at least an apology, which is why I'm here. I am sorry, and I hope that we can still be friends, even if you don't feel the same way. You're a really good friend, Lena, and I don't want to lose –"

"Kara."

Kara stopped, looking at Lena wide-eyed. And then she closed her eyes, groaning again. She did it again. She went off the script – not that there was a script to begin with – and now Lena probably hated her more than ever. In fact, she should probably just fly out the window and restart her campaign of avoiding Lena due to epic embarrassment.

"Kara," Lena repeated, softer this time, mirthful as well.

The alien slowly peeled her eyes open, only to see Lena smiling at her in amusement. Well, at least Lena didn't hate her, though it still felt hurtful that Lena found this funny. Kara bit her lip and adjusted her glasses again, saying nothing. Honestly, she had nothing else to say. The ball was in Lena's court now. She shifted her gaze downwards to her loafers, waiting for the ultimate letdown that Lena was going to hand her.

"Ask me out for coffee." See? She knew it. On what earth could Kara dare to imagine that Lena would want – wait, _what_? Her head shot up so fast that if she was human, it would probably snap.

" _What_?"

Lena's smile widened. It was obvious that she was trying really hard not to laugh. "Kara Danvers –"

"Zor-El. My name's actually Kara Zor-El." She reached to adjust her perfectly placed glasses again. "Just so you know," she mumbled.

Lena nodded slowly. "Well then, Kara Zor-El, ask me out for coffee."

Kara looked at Lena, trying to gauge if this was just a prank. Kara considered herself to know Lena pretty well, if not by much. If anything, she was probably one of the very few people on earth who really knew Lena. And she could see in Lena's eyes that this wasn't a prank – that Lena actually wanted her to do it.

So Kara stood straighter, clutching her notebook tighter to her chest, and asked, "Lena, do you, maybe, want to go out for coffee with me sometime? Like on a date, probably?"

Lena then pushed away from the desk, and took a few steps forward until she was almost nose to nose with Kara. The nearer Lena got, the more Kara felt like she was running out of air, which was quite out of the ordinary. But then again, nothing was ever really ordinary when it came to Lena Luthor.

"Yes, I would love to."

And in that moment, as a smile began to emerge on Kara's face and Lena's smile widened into a grin, the setting sun cast a bright orange glow upon the women, as if forecasting the beautiful things that were yet to come for the two of them – together.

* * *

 **bet you wish i haven't written a second part _at all_.**


End file.
